Sloths in the Closet
by Ultimate Naco Topping
Summary: Every family heirloom has a tale. Just be sure you're ready for the story...


This is not related to any of my other stories. It's just a one shot from a plot bunny that struck me while I was reading the Roth SL Coupe thread in Zaratan's forum. Enjoy!

Rated T for mild suggestive sitches.

_Kim, Ron, and all other characters within are owned by the Walt Disney Corporation._

* * *

_Sloths in the Closet_

_by Ultimate Naco Topping_

* * *

"You know, I always thought your room _was_ the attic, Kim," Ron quipped as he held the flashlight. Kim stopped sorting through the box of papers and looked quizzically at him.

"Now that you mention it, I've always had this creepy feeling that the house was somehow changing its layout without us knowing about it...," she trailed. With nervous looks, each eyed the walls and the rafters waiting for the house to spring a deadly trap for discovering its secret before Kim shook it off and resumed her search.

"So, why exactly do you need your birth certificate?" Ron asked after a couple moments of silence.

"Because," the redhead started with a huff and a sideways glance. "The colleges I applied for overseas need proof of my citizenship. The fact that I'm telling you this means you haven't started yours yet."

Ron wavered with the flashlight as his girlfriend gave him a full stare.

"Well, I, uh," he stammered.

"Ron, I was under the impression that we wanted to go to college _together_," the redhead said without hiding her concern that Ron may be wavering on their plan.

"I do!" the blonde vigorously defended. "I just, uh, keep forgetting."

Kim's potentially angsty expression shifted to annoyance silently communicating to her boyfriend what she was thinking. As the glare continued, he realized he would not be heading to Felix's later that afternoon for _Zombie Mayhem VII_ practice.

"We're heading to my house after you're done here and we're filling everything out aren't we?" he said flatly.

Kim slyly grinned at her sidekick's growing ability to read her mind before reaching out and repositioning the flashlight in his hand back on the pile she was working through. After another couple minutes of sorting, Kim happened on a piece of paper that made her pause.

"You find it?" asked Ron hopeful that they would be getting out of the hot dusty room.

"No," Kim replied with a smirk before holding up the paper for Ron to see. "It's just my parents wedding license…"

Ron squinted in the darkness.

"Hey, I didn't know you mother's maiden name was…,"

"Kimberly? Ronald? Are you two up here?" Mr. Dr. Possible's voice interrupted as his head popped up through the attic's hatch. Though doing nothing wrong, the two teens stepped apart as they faced him.

"Hey, dad," Kim replied. "Just looking for my birth certificate for college."

"Very good," her father replied before pointing to a box over Kim's shoulder. "Speaking of college, could you hand me that box of tax forms over there? With you going overseas, your mother and I need to reorganize our finances a little."

"Thanks, daddy," Kim said as she grabbed the box and handed it to her father. "But I'm sure I'll get a full ride."

"You can never be too sure," Mr. Dr. Possible said wisely as he made his way back down the steps. "Make sure you put everything back so nothing gets lost…"

With a deep breath, Kim resumed her search as Ron resumed his flashlight duties. As more boxes were opened and searched, Ron's thoughts turned elsewhere, if nothing more than to just pass the time. Specifically to an overheard conversation between his girlfriend and Monique.

"So, what's this secret plan you've got for 'Ron night' tomorrow?" he inquired smoothly.

"What secret plan?" the redhead tried to ask cluelessly. Unfortunately for her, Ron wasn't buying it.

"The secret plan I heard you and Monique talking about between classes."

Kim once again stopped her search to give Ron a glare.

"Please don't tell me that you were eavesdropping on us again!" Kim tersely added knowing that her surprise for Friday night might be ruined.

"Oh no, no, no!" Ron declared putting up his hands up defensively. "I just kept walking. I'm not going to make the same mistake three times."

Kim continued with her skeptical stare, but decided he was telling the truth. Her search continued.

"Well…," Ron continued after a moment quiet.

"Well what?" Kim replied tossing another stack of papers to the side.

"What's the big secret?" the blonde said leaning his head over her shoulder with a grin.

"Ron, if I told you…," the redhead started before pausing. She realized that she had lost the element of surprise. Ron knew to be expecting something. The only way to recover control would be to switch tactics.

Bringing herself almost nose to nose with her best friend, a seductive gaze filled her face.

"What do the words back, Sloth, park, seat, and secluded mean to you?"

For a brief second or two, Ron's eyes went large and he choked down a nervous gulp.

"Very. Good. Things," he squeaked. Satisfied with her handiwork, Kim dove into another box of paperwork.

The heat of the attic was not the place for Ron to try and cool his jets especially after the bomb Kim had just dropped on him. It was ferociously unfair of her to punch all his buttons at once and then bend over in front of him while digging deep into a box of assorted documents. He had to get his mind elsewhere or at least his eyes. They darted around before finally settling on a stack of discarded papers. It took him a few seconds to realize what he was looking at, but as his eyes adjusted, a devilish grin filled his face as he retrieved the document from the floor.

"Kimberly Ann Possible," Ron said shining the flashlight on the certificate. "Born January 10th, 1989 at Middleton Medical Center…"

"Give me that!" Kim spun towards Ron realizing that he had found what she had been looking for. However, the sidekick was not willing to part with it right away and kept it out of her reach. After a couple failed attempts to snatch it away by Kim, Ron kept reading.

"Mother: Angela Rebecca Possible. Father: James Timothy Possible. Seven pounds, six ounces. Goodness, K.P., you were a whooper!"

"So not funny, Ron!" Kim yelled launching another unsuccessful attempt to get her birth certificate back.

Pausing, Kim realized that another change of tactics would be necessary. Lunging forward, Kim pretended to go for the document now held high in the air in Ron's outstretched hand, but at the last moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a smoldering kiss. Once satisfied that she had properly paralyzed him, she pulled back and giggled at the goofy expression of content on her boyfriend's face. Taking her birth certificate was now a piece of cake. A snap of the fingers brought Ron back to reality.

"Let's get this cleaned up," Kim said as she began scooping papers and tossing back into their appropriate box. Shaking off the wave of hormones now coursing through his bloodstream, Ron helped as best he could.

Within a minute, almost everything was back in place. Kim picked up the last stack and glanced down at her parents' wedding license with a smile. She was just about to place the lid on the box when on minor piece of information caught her attention. Slowly, she removed the document and stared at it before looking at her birth certificate again.

As her look of confusion iced over into a cold rage, the same mechanism in Ron's brain that caused him to jump just before a laser blast could incinerate him or a henchman could crush his face intercepted the signal headed for his vocal chords that was about to ask Kim what was wrong.

--

The door to James Possible's den exploded open to reveal his daughter grunting angrily at him and her mother. The doctors Possible could only gasp in confusion at this unusual outburst from their offspring.

"Spill!" Kim ordered holding her birth certificate and her parents' wedding license in her hands. The two doctors looked nervously at each other before Angela responded.

"About what, Kimmie?" she asked as innocently as she could. Kim let out an audible 'grrr' before clarifying from the first document.

"_This license is hereby granted by the State of Colorado on this day, August 20, 1988 to certify that James Timothy Possible and Angela Rebecca _O'Riley_ have legally entered into marriage_," the younger redhead growled before switching pages. "_Kimberly Ann Possible. Born January 10__th__, 1989._ Now if I were to count the months in between, that would leave a total of _six_ which is not the same number as…"

"Okay!" her father shouted cutting her off. Both he and Mrs. Dr. P. looked at her guilt ridden. "You caught us."

"Why didn't you tell me about this!" Kim demanded with her usual teenage spirit.

"Well, honey, we never thought it was important," Mrs. Dr. P. said.

"Not important! Not important!" Kim shouted as her face reddened. "Everything about my family's history is a lie and you're telling me it's not important!"

"Actually, Kimmie-cub," James stated defensively. "We never actually lied to you. We just never told you."

"Lies of omission are still lies! You should have told me!"

"We didn't want you to think that…," Kim's mother began before being cutoff sharply.

"That I was a mistake?!" Kim seethed. Almost instantly, Kim went from anger to sadness as the tears began to pool in her eyes. "I was a mistake, wasn't I? I'm not supposed to be here at all…"

Angela quickly closed the gap between herself and her daughter wrapping her arm around her. The emotions were almost too strong as Kim's knees buckled forcing her to sit on the couch.

"No! Not in the least bit," her mom stated with absolute sincerity. "I'll admit that you weren't planned, but that does not make you a mistake."

Kim sniffled as she locked eyes with her mother. Her father joined them sitting on the other side of Kim.

"Kim," he began softly. "Your mother and I are very sorry for holding out on you but we only did it because we love you and we wanted to protect you."

"But did you love each other?" the teen heroine choked out.

"Absolutely!" her mother declared with such firmness that it relieved Kim of some of her emotion strain even allowing a small smile.

"How did it, um, happen?" the redhead asked wiping the last of the tears from her eyes.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Angela said timidly.

"All things considered," Kim replied with a bit more control. "I think I have a right to know… At least the edited version."

The two doctors looked at each other silently trying to determine if they should reveal the truth. With a mutual sigh, they knew they had to tell her.

"Okay, Kimberly," Mr. Dr. Possible began…

--

The moon light sparkled off the diamond ring filling the cabin of the Roth SL Coupe with a soft glitter. Angela's eyes were as big as saucers as she was almost hypnotized by the chunk of ice being presented to her in a small velvet case.

"Listen," began a very nervous James Possible. "I know we've only been dating for a few months, but I really feel like there's something special between us that I've never felt with anyone before."

"James, I…, I don't know what to say," Angela stammered.

"If you need time to think it over, I understand. I just want you to be happy…"

Locking eyes, James's words echoed in her head. This was all a certain shock to her system, but as she gazed deeper, there was just something so genuine in his eyes that there was only one response she could give.

"Yes!" she said.

"Really?!" James blinked in shock a couple times.

"I can't tell you why, but one-hundred and ten percent yes!"

After a moment of silence, the couple erupted with joyous laughter as James took the ring and slipped it onto Angela's finger before sharing a celebratory kiss. And then another. And another…

--

"And nine months later…," James said with a blush.

Kim allowed herself to smile while blushing herself. It wasn't as gorchy a story as she had thought it would be and it certainly shed some unexpected light on her parents.

"Wow. I never would have thought. Just right there in your…," Kim stopped as the connection was made. "_My_ car!"

The touching family moment was over as Kim bolted off the couch shuddering with disgust.

"That's disgusting!" she shouted.

"Well, you wanted to know," Mrs. Dr. Possible said with a small smile.

"Yeah, but, but, just EW!" Kim groaned fighting off a spasm from her stomach before marching herself out of the room. James allowed himself a chuckle before noticing his wife's glare.

"That's not funny, James," she said coldly.

"But at least it was romantic," he defended.

"Sure, _if that's what had really happened_!" Angela fired back calling him on his little fabrication. James shifted to a more serious posture.

"Hey, would you rather have her think her car is 'tainted' territory or learn a valuable lesson about not drinking too much trash can punch at a science club mixer?"

The elder redhead weighed the options and was begrudged to agree with her husband on that one.

"Okay, but I still feel guilty," she conceded before James delicately took her hand.

"Hey, it doesn't matter how it happened. We made it work," he said with a growing smile that was soon returned.

"Yeah, I guess we did…"

--

Ron stood in his standard 'date' tux halfway down the Possible's driveway perplexed by his girlfriend's actions. The redhead had firmly placed her helmet over her beautifully styled hair and was waiting impatiently on the back of his scooter.

"Um, Kim," he started cautiously. "I thought we were, um, going to…, _need_, your car tonight…"

"I don't have a car, Ron," she said acidicly with her arms crossed.

Ron's shoulders slumped as it seemed Kim's 'Ron Night' surprise was now just a fleeting apparition. But before he could press the issue and find out what was bothering his BFGF, he thought better of it. When Kim was ready to tell him what was wrong, she'd tell him. Besides, he hadn't eaten all day and further questions would only bring more hunger…

The End


End file.
